Cracked (2003)(Reupload)
by JelloCubes
Summary: A look at how sometimes someone who is happy on the outside can be hiding very dark thoughts and tendencies. They're likely only to share them with their closest friends.


Mikey stood on the roof of the skyscraper and looked out on everything. He knew it had to be the stress of being stranded; something was making his brothers treat him differently. "Grown ups are talking." Mikey looked down. "Goofball." He looked at his hands, and suddenly felt a memory of every slap or smack, just as rough as if it had happened. They had left him behind; they had left their goofball brother behind while they got wiser, smarter, and less likely to fool around. Even Raf had taken to reading instead of fighting with him. Yet, insults still flew between the two in an effort to get the red ninja to at least look at him for once. The only time they ever came into contact now days was when they were sparring, and that was not very often.

Mikey missed his streets; his home; the old lair. It was nice not needing to sneak around, but the thrill of being a ninja had gone, nearly with his innocence. Not with his optimism or wise cracks, though. His brothers needed someone to be funny, or the stress would kill them. Mikey grabbed at his chucks absentmindedly. What he would give to own a blade. When he got hurt was when he felt the most alive; when his family payed attention.

Mikey looked straight down. The adrenaline rushed into his brain; what would happen if he were to fall? Splat. Turtle pancake. Goo scraped off of the street. Or maybe someone would rescue him, but rescues like that were once a month, and no one was paying attention to him. No one was watching him. He had seen his master go to each of his brothers when they were deep in thought and ask if they were alright. They thought Mikey was too dumb to be lost in thought, or to even have a thought. "It's a miracle you remember to breathe," Donnie had said once. Donnie was supposed to be the one that at least saw him as an equal. Now all of them saw him as a child, with his obsession over comics and action figures and video games. He had not had time for them when they were turtle tots, and now he had even less time unless he let something else slack. Was it that bad to want to have fun? Turtles just want to have fun.

Mikey sat on the ledge of the building and looked at the sky. The sun was setting. "You are cracked," Raf had said when Mikey cooed at his puppet.

"Maybe I am cracked," Mikey whispered, "But I only made that dumb doll because you wouldn't play with me." Mikey was not smart enough to have a real conversation, or so his brothers thought. Not even Leo looked at him with respect. It was the same thing he saw in all their eyes; a pitiful, "we love you because we have to" look. Even from his master; his father. He was an endearment. Sure, his brothers loved him, but did they like him?

"Cody is like a brother to us," Raf had laughed, "One we actually like." That had stung a lot, and had almost made him cry on the way to the moon; at least until they got attacked and he could focus on something else.

The sun had gone down, and the stars were nearly out. A few speckled across the sky. Cody was provably the only one who understood him and was not fed up with his antics, but Mikey knew he would be eventually. Even Casey had given him that look before. "Too dumb to turn a screw," Mikey sighed. "Or too dumb to be trusted with anything else." The plan hinges on the screw. "What was I thinking?" He face palmed and fell back with a sigh. "Drek this..." He mumbled. He suddenly felt sleepy, and closed his eyes. Maybe he could freeze; he would never see it coming for him, that ever present entity that resided in a blade or a gun, and even in the street below. It resided in the cold as well. Mikey felt the dark overtake him, and he curled up to sleep on the roof.

Raf shook Mikey awake, and the orange turtle roused with a stuffy nose. He sniffled. "Raf," Mikey mumbled and wiped his eyes, "What're you doing up here?"

"I should ask you the same thing," Raf crossed his arms, "Don't you know you're gonna freeze up here dumb dumb?" Mikey looked up at Raf longingly, but looked away hurriedly, lest the other see what he had done. "Mikey..." Raf's expression softened, and he sat down next to his brother. "Mikey, are you alright?" Mikey blinked and felt tears in his eyes. They were quickly blotted up by his mask, but the wet spots around the eye holes were prominent.

"I'm fine, Raf..." Mikey sighed. He pulled his mask off and wiped his eyes. "I'm just fine," he sobbed quietly and snuffled. "Leave me alone, would you?" Mikey turned his back on Raf and put his mask back on.

"Mikey, cut it out," Raf growled, "You're creeping me out, bro. What's up?"

"I... Nothing." Raphael stood, and turned to leave, but Mikey stopped him. "Raf, wait. I was looking over the side of the building earlier, and I felt something weird."

"Was it thought?" Raf chuckled, but stopped making fun of the orange ninja when he looked down. "What is it?"

"It felt like... I felt like I wanted to fall... I'm scared, Raf... I keep thinking... Seeing myself in situations like that... Situations where I'm..." Raf was shocked and stunned by what Mikey had said. "Raf... Would you tell the others I died saving you heroically?"

"No go, bro." Raf said sternly and sat down next to his brother. "You ain't dying on my watch, by anyone's hand. Especially your own." Mikey sighed. It hurt to hear the faked sympathy; the "care" in Raf's voice, when in reality there was nothing there. "Mikey," Mikey shook his head and put his back to the street miles below.

"Raffie," Mikey sighed, "Just leave. You know you want to. I know you want to." Mikey let himself teeter backwards, his hands gripping the ledge just enough to keep him from falling. And from there, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Raf's mouth fell open, too stunned to react, as Mikey fell back, and his fingers left the ledge. Raf jumped, but he was too slow, and his hand just missed catching Mikey's ankle as he fell off the edge.

Wind whipped around his head,

"It's a miracle you remember to breathe."

and the tails of his mask flapped around his ear holes as he fell.

"You're cracked."

He seemed to be picking up speed.

"Mikey, don't!"

"Mikey, you idiot!"

"Goofball!"

"Dummy!"

His eyes were closed, but Raf's face stayed embedded into his mind.

Smack. Whap. Bonk.

Grief. Pain. Sorrow. Horror. All in that last second.

"I love ya, bro!"

The wind whistled in his ears,

"We love you, Mikey."

Signaling the fast approaching ground.

"Never do something that stupid again."

Tears filled his eyes.

"What would we do without you, Mikey?"

The droplets floated away into the air and disappeared.

"Even if just one of us gets separated from the group, we fall apart. We've got to stick together."

Splat. Turtle pancake. Goo on the sidewalk.

"I love you, bros!"

Comrade. Friend. Brother.

Lovable. Funny. Dumb. Wacky. Insane.

Cracked.


End file.
